Taking Up Space
What is the role of the Artist?
As many artists do, I see my art as my child that I’ve reared and brought up as my own. Placing artwork on the gallery wall means that once I leave, what's left on the wall is the remnant of my identity and my other face. In my more mentally stunted years, I referred to myself as an ugly person who creates beautiful things. So as time went on, to me, artworks became fragments of my higher self.
Exiting the Chrysalis
Me ( on the left ) and Georgia Jackson
As my career begins to grow, I have to exit the artmaking chrysalis that is my bedroom floor. I have to break out and shake the hands of people who want to meet my other face. Art-making can be an isolating practice if you want it to be, and sometimes it's even necessary. But, I’ve hit the wall many have hit before. I want people to enjoy my work, and I want to be a “real” functioning, ( aka exhibiting ) artist. Without the few exceptions, there are a few that are able to maintain their anonymity, but that isn’t likely. What holds the art community together is when we congregate to have conversations. Especially with artists who’ve left their hovels to meet fellow creatives. One of my favorite artists, Haley Morris-Cafiero, a fat, queer artist, states that "the art world, rather the whole world has a problem with weight.” Faced in the grips of a technological minefield, the gallery is no longer a place of placing art. The gallery means being present, it means publications. It means noting the extra chub on your left arm when you take photos. Much to my chagrin, we aren't floating orbs of soul juice, I have to stand, black skin against a white wall, (in this case pink wall) and be a face and face my art. This thought terrifies me because if culture is indicative of how I’ll be treated there’s a lot to fear. As a black, queer, and femme artist, I often feel like my personhood inherently creates a narrative of what my artwork is about. I sometimes want to walk up to someone and say, "What does meeting me make you think about my art? " As many would think, as few would say, we notice when a body fluctuates. And that's my biggest fear, not being in a state of completion when people come to meet the artist. But we are not butterflies, and open calls don’t stop while we’re in the chrysalis.
How do I Take up Space?
Art on the walls, names on the press release, being an exhibiting artist often means taking and commanding a space. But past the obvious nature of the artwork, how do I deal with taking up space. I exist in this body, and I continue to make and create in this body. One thing I have to deal with is reckoning with the fact as I get further into the art world sphere, my body will change. But people today are polite, nothing will be said, but a lot will be felt.
Emerging in More Ways than One
Being an emerging artist means presenting evolving ideas of who you are, and what your art means. There is a sense of humility in the title of "emerging artist", It has a connotation of being unestablished and constantly shifting. We embrace that term with our artwork, but how do we reckon with that applying to our own personhood. I'm finding that past my art I'm emerging in many ways. And as a new babe- it means a clumsy few steps before we really know how to have an artist talk. I'm emerging in how I present myself as an artist, like my choice to wear purple lipstick with a brown dress.
